do you see what I see?

come to me, Beloved.

come, straight with not a hint of a chaser:

no art on your face

nor hair made up and straight.

come to me in your most natural state.

allow me to see exactly what God done create.

let me see you in the “harsh” Light,

not just undercover “protected” by the night.

My Love, why the masks?

you know I must ask.

why do you feel you must always run from me,

hiding away your true identity?

what is it you do not wish for me to see?

come, Baby.

sit,

breathe,

be.

then,

look

at

Me.

Look into your mirror through my eyes.

do you see what I see-

your great beauty,

that you are infinitely worthy

just as you are

right now?

in your own eyes,

do you see in you the mystery,

vulnerability,

fragility,

abundant curiosity,

and stubborn audacity?

do you?

really?

and of the fine lines indelibly etched on your face-

do you see your long history and humble ministry?

do you, Baby?

what of your beautiful skin-

scarred, marred, unshaven, uneven?

therein, your unique composition,

not crafted to be ignored,

but deeply appreciated and fully explored.

do you see what I see, Baby?

your True Story,

your ineffable Glory.

 

 

 

 

the sea: take one

vibrant blue-green

scattered, tangled algae

sweet scent and taste of salinity.

it is breezy

I feel such delicious tranquility

in my beautiful sanctuary.

infinity – sea, sky: where the line?

whoosh..

the waves: a soothing, rhythmic melody.

afar, a lone boat sails by mystically, quietly.

above, fly and sing, the seagulls;

within, my Soul so very thank-full!

 

 

Legacy

born of a visionary-

one gifted with the ability

to farther see,

one who then generously

takes us on their journey.

Legacy…

what is left behind,

that which will stand the test of time.

planted seeds

the rich harvest of which

will not ever be seen.

lessons taught

from painful battles fought.

inspiration elicited

from a long gone Heart that contributed.

the many lives transformed

from a Life that is now in another form.

a world made brighter

from a dimmed Light of significant matter.

 

emptied

fill what was once occupied,

what once could bear life inside.

fill it with Light;

fill it with Words;

fill it with Music;

fill it with Wisdom;

fill it with much Love.

fill it, please

with all of these.

fill it so the void

don’t spread

to my head.

fill it

so that I can choose, always,

Life

instead.

You emptied me.

now, to overflow,

fill me.

make me

a vessel,

a vehicle,

a channel.

then, pour from me

abundantly and continuously

until I return home,

to Thee.

Beauty

Beauty

of,

begotten from

humanity,

moves me always to tears,

unearthing my deepest joys, aches, and fears.

mixed in is great gratitude and awe,

an appreciation of what some Souls came here for.

Therein lies the source of the pain,

that is a profound yearning to do the same:

To the world, contribute Beauty in His Name.

Beauty inspired and informed by spirituality

with the intention of transformative ministry.

Beauty in all its many forms;

Beauty beyond limited social norms;

Beauty that Heart melts & warms.

Beauty that consciousness expands,

that makes great demands

of its adoring beholder:

risk for a Life that is richer & ever bolder!

 

 

 

Ready for Love

I say I am ready for Love.

I say it rather convincingly

but am I really

ready for

Love?

What exactly am I ready for

when True Love comes a knocking on this here door?

More questions than answers have I:

To him, who will I be?

What of his expectations of me?

Will I measure up? Will I fill his cup?

Will he stay

when my mask melts away

and my Light temporarily fades?

What of me –

Can I handle with calm dignity

the unfamiliar masculine energy?

Can I remain present, outside my protective shell

when communication is perceived as hell?

Can I allow a man to be a Man

and not automatically default to the feminist stance?

Can I trust him fully and completely

when I was taught so differently?

That all said,

in my heart and in my head:

Am I ready for Love?

To it, am I prepared to run –

to run toward that inevitable fire

that is intense, illogical hunger and crazy desire?

Ready to let it burn

without so much as a concern,

confident in whatever of me, of we

remains?

Yes,

I

am!

Been there once, years before.

Now,

I am

I know

I understand

so much more.

Come, Love.

 

 

 

june fifteenth

four years ago today

an irreversible change made,

a body violently altered-

“fixed” as it had faltered.

faltered, not on its own, you see,

but from deep fear and misery.

body was made

unwittingly

victim to

dreams too long deferred;

to emotions and creativity

consistently

unexpressed,

and knowing/intuition buried, suppressed.

mind, body, and Soul are One indeed.

why (still) so hard for me to heed?

s0, today, june fifteenth

I re-member,

I honor.

and I to new body do solemnly promise

to cultivate a consciousness

from which

boldly, I sing all my songs,

and no longer is my Light hidden.

So it is written.

 

The Doer

I see a Need

and I fill It-

no questions asked

no hesitation born of self-doubt.

No, I just do It now

do the Thing that beckons me,

scares me,

that which was meant for me only.

I do It with

the who I am,

what I have,

what I know

in this space and time.

What may now elude me

will eventually find me,

bringing the resources

I did not need

to immediately

heed and proceed.

You see, I, the Doer,

Trust

wholeheartedly – I simply must!

I trust in me,

steeped in a Power,

an inner knowing

beyond what I can comprehend

and see.

And of the inevitable obstacles,

but mere opportunities,

endless possibilities

to fulfil a sacred

responsibility

to be always in service to

our humanity.

 

 

 

music (draft un)

My muse,

what I turn to when utterly confused;

that which inspires

and sets my Soul and loins afire;

a bright Light

to the long, dark night;

the champagne that

not only lightens

the pain

but also

it explains.

My Love,

I cannot do without,

shy inhibitions,

you aptly loosen;

you make the mute, shout,

and the introvert dance wildly about-

as if no one is on watch;

you fill to overflow

with glee and joy

like a cherished Christmas Day toy!

Muse,

in melody, harmony and word,

you provide rich fodder

to be heard, felt and

deeply ponder.

Through you

in you,

by you,

I feel the close presence of my Lord!

I hear His gentle voice

direct to me, He talks!

My heart is

wide open,

softly broken,

sweetly aching.

The tears inevitable flow,

the floodgates, now ajar,

torrential rain, not far.

I relent, well spent:

my Soul, ascents.

Transformed,

informed,

humbled and grateful

to-

for-

the music

only Heaven could have borne.

 

 

 

pleasure

imagine a life devoid of pleasure, of great joy?

what would be the point?

an elder once shared

that pleasure is an indulgence

reserved for the blessed few with no cares.

“life is about duty and obligation,” elder declared.

even naïve, at the cusp of adulthood,

i knew deep inside that this was a flagrant falsehood.

no, that would not be my truth to bear.

for me, pleasure would be as essential as water and air.

unlike said elder,

i’d tasted pleasure.

pleasure came a knockin’ on my door,

i’d let it right on in asked for more –

eagerly

hungrily

desperately

and unapologetically.

i soaked up pleasure as if it were buried treasure!

there was no going back,

no about-face,

for i’d grown too fond of pleasure‘s intoxicating taste.

i continue to seek you, pleasure

in your various guises and splendor-

to relish in you responsibly

and unselfishly,

sharing you widely.

for this i know with great certainty:

life will bring its bitters –

that is a given.

but,

it also generously provides the sweets

to make it all tolerable and mercifully even.